I hold this feeling close and sing

When I find myself feeling overwhelmed by the world, I close my eyes and the first place that gifts me calm is the mountain. I journey through my memories of each time I have walked to the sacred waters of Waiau to pray. I can feel the cold of the ground under my bare feet and I can hear the shift of the wind as it dances across the surface. My voice echos on the hills the surround the lake reminding me that my own prayers will always come back to me when I call upon them.

When my heart is heavy with grief, I put my hands on my womb and breathe into my palms. I feel my pulse sync to the pulse of the earth and I sing. I recall every song I have every sung on the land that I love and remember that the ancestors are waiting to be acknowledged by name. My genealogy flows off of my lips as I ask the Grandmothers of my lineage to stand at the four corners of my body. They gently lift what I cannot carry and teach me to let go of what I cannot control. Then with tenderness, they remind me to harness my power and my ability to discern. They urge me to not forget the gifts they have passed down and to remember that I can choose to heal from a place of mana.

When there is too much noise around me and I cannot hear myself feel, I go inward to where it is silent. The only sound I hear is the beating of my own heart and I rest there. My whole existence finds a kind of peace that I have only ever felt once before in my lifetime. Mountain deep inhales, slow river exhales.

I hold this feeling close and sing.

📸: @brit.tini.kuwahara