he mana ko ka ‘ōlelo

Words can cut, they have energy, they have mana. Our ancestors teach us, “he mana ko ka ‘ōlelo.” Words have power. When I was younger, I fell into what society teaches young people, especially women, to talk about one another, to judge, to criticize, and to be cruel. I didn’t think before I spoke and that had repercussions. I hurt people with my words and my lack of discipline, knowledge, and experience. When I was in high school and college I had a lot to say and not enough life experience to back it up. I had to own up to that, to acknowledge it, apologize from my heart, and change my behavior.

I have also been on the other side of that. I have been talked about and judged harshly by people who have measured my character and integrity by the limited opinions and perspectives of others. I, too, have been deeply hurt by these toxic cycles and patterns that are crafted by the kolonaio and carried out by our own people.

As I get older I see how important mindfulness is. How important it is to heal the parts of ourselves that have been conditioned to treat one another in these ways. How important it is to come in a good way especially when I don’t understand something or someone’s perspective. How important it is to come with openness, respect, and grace. Humility is a beautiful teacher. My mother teaches me that. My Grandmother teaches me that. My Aunties teach me that. My sisterhoods teach me that.

Now before I speak, I think about the mana of my words. Will these words bring honor to my family? Will my opinions and perspectives feed and nourish connections? Will my words invite conversation? Will they bring unity or separation? I ask myself these questions often.

I’m still learning. I’m still growing. I’m still correcting thought patterns and learned ways of being. It has taken me long time to have grace for myself and for others. It has taken me a long time to stand strong and constant in my own mana, in the mana that was passed down to me by those who gave me life.

I’ve had to call upon these lessons and this particular strength recently to deepen the revelations of what I still have yet to learn. What a powerful way to wrap up this season of Lono.